How to make a memory jar for a friend, step by step

What you need

• A clean jar with a lid. A medium jar holds about forty folded slips.
• Paper cut into strips, around 2 by 10 cm, in one or two colours.
• A pen you like writing with, and about an hour.
• A printed label and, if you like, a ribbon or a tag.

Step 1: collect the memories

Sit down and list everything that comes to mind before you write a single slip. Aim for twenty to thirty. If you are short of ideas, these prompts help:

• The first time you met, and what you thought of each other.
• A trip, a day out or a long walk you still talk about.
• A thing they said that became an inside joke.
• A time they showed up when you needed someone.
• A meal, a song or a film that is theirs.
• Something they taught you without trying.
• A photo you love, and the story behind it.
• What you are looking forward to doing together next.

Step 2: write the slips

Keep each slip short: the date or year if you know it, the place, and one or two lines. A short slip is read and smiled at, while a long one gets saved for later. Write in your own voice. Add small details, such as the colour of the coat or what you ate, because details make a memory feel real. Fold each slip in half and drop it in.

Step 3: make the label

A label turns a jar of paper into a gift. Open the memory jar preset and change three lines:

• Title: "Our Memory Jar", or something that sounds like the two of you.
• Subtitle: "For Sam, with love from Alex".
• Small note: how to use it, for example "Open on a rainy day" or "Read one slip, then call me".

Choose a rectangle for a straight-sided jar or a round label for the lid, pick a palette they would choose, and print on A4 or Letter. Our guide to printable jar labels for gifts in a jar covers sizes and printing in more detail.

Step 4: wrap and give

Tie a ribbon around the neck, tuck a spare blank slip and a pen into the lid, and say how it works: one slip when they need it, and another whenever they like. The empty slip is the best part. It invites them to add their own memory and hand the jar back to you.

Variations that suit different friends

• Open-when jar: each slip starts "Open when you need a laugh", "Open when you miss home" and so on. It suits a friend who is moving away.
• Birthday jar: one slip for every year you have been friends, opened one a day in the week of their birthday.
• Group jar: pass a jar around your friend group and have everyone add a slip. This one is great for a leaving gift.
• Jar chart instead of slips: if paper is too much, fill a shelf of jars with the things you love about each other using the jar chart template for friends.

When the jar is done, save the share picture from the label maker if you would like to show the finished set to the people who helped, or keep the printed label sheet for the next one.